Unwanted repetitive episodes (URPs or UREPs for short) are the patterns we develop with people at work, at home, in friendships and even with acquaintances. They’re unwanted because they’re dysfunctional. I’ve written about them in my books on politics at work and at this website (see category section to the right) and about choice points in conversations where we can break free of these patterns.
There are choice points in nearly all conversations where it’s possible to alter the direction and bring about an entirely, more productive outcome. There is considerable attention being paid now days to “mindfulness” — part of that being able to be in the moment. So much of conversation is scripted and gets away from us. We engage in them as if on autopilot. Only by being more aware, mindful in a way, of our interactions and how we contribute are we able also to alter what happens to us everyday.
In the video segment below, there’s an example and brief discussion about UREPS. This is a segment of a larger talk and uses a domestic example in which a wife says, “My mother is coming to stay for four weeks.” The husband is at a choice point. Since communication is a lot like chess, where every move we make limits the options of the other person(s), how we use choice points shapes our days and also our careers.
We all have the ability to break free of patterns, especially at choice points, if we’re aware of where they’re taking us and where we might go instead.
video here UREPSReardon – Small