Daily we read about yet another person who has been accused of sexual misconduct. And yet, except in the more obvious cases, people are unsure of where offensive or inappropriate behavior ends and sexual misconduct begins. We’re operating in a maze. It’s time for some clarity and direction. Aristotle distinguished between mistakes and wickedness. So can we. Here’s a start — this time focusing on male to female offense and misconduct.
Spectrum of Sexual Misconduct at Work (SSMW) – Kathleen Kelley Reardon, Ph.D.
Decisions about which category a behavior falls into depend on the situation, tone of delivery and nonverbal behaviors. This is not a set of cut-and-dried categories. It’s a first-pass blueprint for organizations – a way to start talking about what is and isn’t sexual misconduct. Additional examples can be added, some moved. The point is to get this conversation underway.
Common off-the-cuff compliments on such things as hair style and dress. “You look nice today;” “I like your haircut,”
“That’s a nice outfit;” “That’s a good color on you.”
Comments on gender differences such as: “You would say that as a woman,” “I suppose it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind;” “We can’t speak frankly around you women anymore.”
Offensive (Not necessarily or overtly intentional)
Holding a woman’s arm while talking
Patronizing/dismissive/exclusionary behavior toward women
Sharing jokes about female blondes, brunettes, red-heads, etc.
Implying or stating women are distracted by family
Seriously Offensive (Intentional lowering of women’s value)
Denigrating comments about women in general
Jokes about a woman’s limited intellect or skills due to her gender
Words like “ice queen” or “female mafia” when referring to women
Comments about about physical attributes used to insult or demean a woman
Evident Sexual Misconduct
Looking a woman up and down in a sexually suggestive manner
Grabbing, rude patting and unwelcome holding
Unwelcome, unexpected kissing
Ignoring a woman’s expressed disinterest in a personal/intimate relationship and continuing to hassle her
Making or telling crude jokes that demean women
Describing women with such terms as “slut” or “frigid”
Trying to demean a woman by implying/claiming she uses her gender to advance career goals
Egregious Sexual Misconduct
Physical sexual behavior while a woman is present
Pressing against a woman suggestively
Threatening/implying career damage to a woman who refuses to engage in sex or sexual behavior
Forcing or coercing a woman to have sex
UPDATE: The New York Times article “How a Culture of Harassment Persisted on Ford’s Factory Floors” by Susan Chira and Catrin Einhorn (Dec. 19, 2017) provides examples of what blue-collar women have endured for years. The term “snitch-bitch” was used to describe a woman who complained about sexual misconduct. Others were hounded, prevented from doing their jobs, and accused of “raping the company.” One woman was referred to as “peanut butter legs.” When she asked why, she was told, “Not only is it the color of your legs, but it’s the kind of legs you like to spread.”
Where do such examples and others in the article fit in the SSMW? That’s what Ford and all companies need to ask — about egregious ones and lesser offenses. In time, people will get it. They’ll see that certain ways of talking to and acting around women are a bridge too far. They’ll know when they’re in a danger zone and when they’re over the line. It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s rather rude and what’s clearly crude. Both are bad, but the latter is worse.
The more examples companies place in the SSMW, the clearer misconduct will become. As the Ford story indicates, however, this exercise is not a one-shot effort. It needs to happen over time and be revisited regularly. Otherwise, companies slip back into old ways. Women experience retaliation and the workplace becomes hostile again.