Just Another Day of Assumptions, Inferences and Judgments

Posted on August 23, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

I was listening yesterday to a former debater describe how difficult it is for young people to understand the importance of providing credible support for what they say in an era when even the most established of sources get away with “some people say,” “some people think,” “they say,” “people have told me,” and other absurdly weak forms of evidence.

My husband and I felt compelled to turn off a radio interview today because the woman responding to questions was making sweeping generalizations and the interviewer just let it pass.  “My friends have told me,”  “I’ve been told by a lot of people,” and “People are thinking more that way now” were the only types of support she offered for her assertions.  And she was supposed to be an expert!

Is it any wonder that we function each day in a maelstrom of half-baked truths where people make assumptions about major issues in their lives without the kinds of support they should seek?  We are indeed lazy information processors when we allow ourselves to be influenced in this way.  Assumptions, inferences, and judgments are useful when they provide initial impressions that we proceed to check.  They can save lives when, for example, we sense that a person driving erratically is likely to suddenly change lanes — and he does.  But they are dangerous when we allow them to influence our ways of thinking about important issues and people with whom we live and work.

Assumptions, inferences and judgments are like hypotheses.  They need to be tested, especially when a lot depends on doing so.

It’s worth reviewing how many times you relied on assumptions, inferences, and judgments today.  I’ll join you.  Among those times, when should we have sought further information before drawing conclusions or acting?  This is a very important exercise, not only for each of us personally, but as a society.  To the extent we allow ourselves to be led by our noses each day based on how things seem rather than endeavoring to learn the way things really are, we contribute to poor decisions.  Such errors add up.

With regard to work, people who do their homework rather than shoot from the hip with unsubstantiated opinions are more persuasive.  How do I know?  You’re wise to ask?  My sources for that are a career of studying persuasion,  research for the writing of Persuasion in Practice and coaching executives who improved immensely at work by noticing the extent to which they depended on weak information.

Tomorrow we can begin lessening our errors by expecting quality support for assertions — from ourselves and others.  This may be a small step, but it’s an important one personally and professionally.

Posted in Choice Points | Leave a comment

SHADOW CAMPUS #25 on Amazon Crime Thriller Bestsellers!

Posted on August 21, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

My debut novel, just released a few weeks ago, is #25 today on Amazon KINDLE Crime Thriller Bestsellers!

Writing and publishing a novel after years of nonfiction is a challenge but now authors need to help get the word out.  Thank you to all who have been ordering and reading. Also to those of you asking that Shamus return for the sequel along with others.  The sequel is underway!

Kathleen

Posted in Shadow Campus | Leave a comment

Standing Up For Your Health

Posted on August 19, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

I posted a blog on Huffington Post today, “Mammogram Assault –  It Doesn’t Have to Happen to You” because it doesn’t.   Many of the blogs on this site are about what to say when things aren’t right.  When it comes to your health or that of someone you love, if you don’t stand up and reject poor service not only do you suffer but so do patients who come after you.

My life has been saved by wonderful doctors.  And I’ve experienced many medical exams conducted by the most accomplished of people concerned for my health.  But last week was one of those exceptions when little if any efforts were made to make a routine mammogram other than an emotional and painful experience.

As I mentioned in the blog, when someone is not doing his or her job, perhaps chatting away to others while you’re lying on a gurney in an emergency room or if you’re undergoing a test with a technician who expresses no humanity, it’s time to say something.  Anyone who is that indifferent is likely not good at what they do.

There are certain basic considerations that should be shown to any patient undergoing a test. What they’re about to experience should be explained.  They should be given the opportunity to share information that could be important to ensuring their comfort and accuracy of the testing. If pain is expected, the patient should be apprised of how much and what he or she can do if it becomes too much.  These are simple guidelines.  It doesn’t hurt to couple them with sensitivity to the patient’s concerns.

“Before we begin I need to share a couple of things with you that you’ll want to know” is one way of introducing your concerns whether they are solicited or not.  “I will need to sit down for a minute or take a break during the test if the pain is intense” or “If there is a way to break this up into parts or pace it so that I’m not distressed, that would be very helpful.”

These are all very courteous ways to share with someone that you are a person who knows yourself well enough to anticipate issues that might arise.  You could elicit their advice:  “What do you suggest I do if I’m feeling faint?”

Don’t go into medical situations with the idea that something is about to be done TO you without your input.  Some testing involves pain.  That’s to be expected.  But the best technicians, doctors and nurses will apprise you of that, keep in touch with you during the procedure, and do what they can to make you as comfortable as possible.  If that isn’t happening, then you should let whoever can fix the problem know that you expect better.

My father used to say, “If you have your health, you can do anything.”  So why let someone having a bad day or who is poorly trained mess with that?  You don’t have to.  Next time there is any hint of problems, speak up.  Be your own health advocate.  You’ll be healthier and happier for it.

Posted in Comebacks, Managing Your Health | Leave a comment

What Do You Say to “No”?

Posted on August 14, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

Sometimes a “No” means exactly that.  More often than not, it means “I can’t help you,” “I won’t help you,” “I don’t know how,” “I couldn’t be bothered,” or some related message.  Most “No” responses have more to do with who is being asked that what is being asked.

The anatomy of “NO” is complex.  You have to watch the body language.  Is the person to whom you’re addressing a request someone who creates obstacles or who removes them?  Of course, you could be asking too much.  But if you aren’t, then you’re likely just asking the wrong person. People who create obstacles tend to be immune to reasoning.  They do, however, value their time.  So, if you must deal with them, it’s useful to buy some time after they fail to help.  You might wonder aloud, “There must be some way to do this.”  Then ask if something not quite what you asked for might be possible.  And work from there.  Sometimes they find their way to your goal.  Consider asking if there is a competitor nearby, a hotel perhaps, that they or their boss recommends with the same high level of service you used to expect of this establishment.

To avoid the problem altogether, decide who you’ll speak with before you even step to a counter or pick up the phone.  If you have a name from prior effective business, ask for that person. Always get the name of people who facilitate and respond to your needs.  That circumvents a considerable number of “No” responses.

I’ve shared with my classes the story of going from hearing a hotel reservationist say, “We don’t have a room,” all the way to getting a beautiful one with an ocean view.  That’s a long story. Suffice it to say, I got all the way to a partial ocean view with her because she sounded like she wanted to help.  When people want to help, you need to help them do so.  I asked if she could recommend another hotel in the area that my husband and I would enjoy as much as the times we’d stayed at her hotel.  She realized then that we were reasonably regular customers. Apparently, as I’d hoped, her hotel tries to serve regular customers.  She found us a room.  I asked about staying, as we had previously, on the level where breakfast would be free.  Somehow she found that and then I asked if getting on a waiting list for a partial ocean view might be possible.  As she was doing that, she found a room with a partial ocean view.  I stopped there. But when we arrived at the hotel a few questions later we had a full ocean view.

That’s a fun story.  There are details to it but mostly it’s important to determine if  “No” means “I can’t help you unless you give me a reason to do so.”  I remember my first article rejection from the Harvard Business Review.  One of my senior colleagues came into my office and sat down. He listened as I complained.  Then he said, “That’s not like you.”  I must have looked puzzled. He explained, “You just told me exactly why they should not reject your article and it’s not like you to not tell them.”  Hmmm.  I called the editor.  He listened.  I listened.  We discussed changes and the rejection became an acceptance.  Sometimes “No” is “I can’t do this as things are.”  Then the door is still open.

I just wrote a blog for Huffington Post about publishing a first novel.  Rejection is tough.  But what if “no” means “I don’t know what sells and this might not,” “I like this but we have too many mysteries on our list” or “I need a good reason to accept this.”  These aren’t definite rejections.  They may be reasons to discuss your manuscript further or even to move on, but not by a long shot good enough reasons to give up.  A “No” after all, is not always what it seems.

Posted in Comebacks | Leave a comment

Is Your Child Going Off To College? Know The Politics Going In

Posted on August 12, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

It’s only natural with teenagers and young adults heading off to college or returning that you wonder what goes on behind the scenes.  Sometimes you’re just so pleased about their promise, that any thought about politics within departments is the last thing on your mind.  Yet, if academia were bereft of politics, it would be a rarity among organizational types.

Even branches of the PTA and charities have politics — sometimes getting in the way of their missions.  They may not see the interpersonal problems they have as politics, but likely that’s what is going on.  When people disagree and, for example, a few get together to resist what they see as the intrusion of others, some level of politics is operating.  It may be constructive politics. If gossip, however, or “poisoning of wells,” is prevalent, then likely the politics is high or perhaps pathological as described in The Secret Handshake.  If what is said is not what is meant or different criteria apply to different people, it’s time for a heads-up.  If the power is held in the hands of a few and they place their own best interests first, students need to know how to manage the system.

Why wouldn’t colleges and universities have political activity — why not each department?  If you’re paying thousands of dollars to go to college or for your child to do so, as he or she begins to select a major knowing something about the politics of the department is wise.  One of the best sources for this information is graduate students.  They know, for example, if the department is one of shared power, open-mindedness, flexibility or rigidity and if differences are handled with professionalism.  One graduate student, one professor, is not enough to learn about the politics of the place where you or your adult child will spend a good part of at least two years of undergraduate education.

We know and accept that organizations have politics.  Why not believe this of universities too? In Shadow Campus the politics are excessive.  It’s fiction.  Yet, even within fiction there are lessons to be learned.  It’s a rare look behind the scenes of a university that needs to work on its politics — too many bad guys in power.  It’s very unlikely that there are lots of bad guys making life miserable where you or your child will go to college.  But you have to know if that nonfictional place will be putting student interests first.  It’s fine for politics to exist, just not to the extent that education, transparency and fairness take a back seat.

As you or a young person you know enters or returns to college, give the existence of politics some thought.  Even in elementary and secondary schools politics from minimal to pathological can exist.  You might as well know what you’re getting into.  Then at least if you or your child stay, it’ll be with both eyes open.

Posted in Choice Points, Politics | Leave a comment

Leadership Tutorial VII (for women): Are Women Less Politically Savvy?

Posted on August 6, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

This question comes up regularly.  And it’s an important one.  I’ve dealt with it in nonfiction and now in fiction in Shadow Campus.  The answer, I believe, is that it depends on the arena in which women work and how long and with what degree of astute observation they’ve been functioning.

The question implies that women are political purists compared to men.  This means that, if true, women expect that people are rewarded for their competence more than their connections or other ways of getting ahead and that fairness is a strong motivator for people who promote others.  In The Secret Handshake, four types of political arenas are described:  minimally, moderately, highly and pathologically political.  Is it true that women are less skilled at functioning in highly and pathologically political arenas?  Are they, more than men, inclined to be political purists?

There’s little in the way of research to directly support an answer one way or the other.  What I’ve learned from interviewing women and observing is that many of us are not comfortable asking for what we deserve.  And that can be used against women.  Any time a person is predictable, they can be managed.  There is still among women a lot of worrying about what is too feminine and not sufficiently feminine.  There is still fear of labels, especially the “B” label.  And yet it is precisely this fear that impedes many women from advancing to high levels of organizations.

We all get labeled, so it’s best to have some input.  Managing how you’re labeled is important, but being overwhelmed by the task is dysfunctional.  Fear being pushy, and you’ll likely go nowhere.  It’s likely that if you’re too pushy, someone will tell you.  Why not wait for that rather than avoid assertiveness?  Then you can assess whether this person’s motives are good or whether he or she is using the very typical fear of that label to manage you.  If you hear that you’re pushy, you might reply with:  “I’m persistent when I believe something is right” or “Someone has to be.  This is important to all of us.”  Keep in mind that “pushy” is a term used more often with women than men.  So, the choice of that word to describe you is informative in and of itself.

Of course there is much more to learn about politics.  And if getting ahead where you work requires being observant and quick on your feet in this regard, there’s no time like the present to start preparing.  Observe how others get ahead.  Ask for what you deserve and provide persuasive support.  Recognize labels being used to discourage you and separate those from the ones used to help you.

As a female senior executive at IBM once told me, “You can’t wait for someone to notice you, worry that you’re bothering the boss with your accomplishments, or neglect to let someone know that you really want to work with him/her.”   Link what you do well to criteria used by your company to assess promotion potential.  Skip the “It’s only fair” argument because that usually goes nowhere.  If women are less savvy in any area of politics, it may be not keying in on what criteria are used to promote and making sure that it’s well known that what they do matches those.

 

 

Posted in Politics, Tutorials for Women, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

SHADOW CAMPUS — New Novel Now on Kindle

Posted on August 6, 2013 by admin

Shadow Campus CoverShadow Campus is now on Kindle.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Crime and Political Intrigue — SHADOW CAMPUS

Posted on July 29, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

Shadow Campus CoverShadow Campus, my tenth book and debut as a novelist, has just been published.  A mystery thriller, like all of my work it’s related to what goes on behind the scenes in organizations  — in this case the politics of academia — but with a sinister twist.  Hope you’ll take a look.

“A young business professor on the eve of tenure is found hanging and nearly dead in her Pacific Coast University office.  Her brother and only living relative, a builder by trade, must leave his small New England town for Los Angeles, to try and save a sister he’s kept at a distance since a childhood event that he can neither forgive nor forget.”

Enjoy!

Posted in Politics, Shadow Campus, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Crime and Political Intrigue — SHADOW CAMPUS

Leadership Tutorial VI (for women): Do We Work Ourselves to Death?

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

You don’t have to be a woman in the U.S. to work yourself to the detriment of your health. But many of us risk our well-being. You may have seen Arianna Huffington discuss this recently. It’s more a problem of fast-paced culture — all the racing here and there in jobs and at home.  There’s so much opportunity for failure and economic pressures don’t help.  Children don’t go out to play and come home at meal times and when the street lights go on.  And so, “having it all” is having it under your feet a lot more now days.

Having paid some hefty health costs while working to be the best I could be, I write now with the benefit of hindsight.  As my female oncologist said to me when I was 32 and diagnosed with breast cancer, our bodies are not made for the abuse we put them through. Do you think she was dropping a hint?  Yes.  She was trying to convince me that taking time off was a good idea. She was impressed that I’d tried to keep up my schedule.  I, on the other hand, fought to keep things as they were for as long as I could — to teach the same schedule, write, and publish. Such immersion in work had its benefits, but there is something called pacing that both men and women could learn more about.  And for those women in careers where getting ahead requires being significantly and conspicuously more competent than male colleagues at the same level, the risk to health is significant.  You just can’t beat yourself up without breaks and expect to be around in a healthy condition to reap the benefits of your hard work.  Besides, you probably look stressed and tired and that doesn’t help promotions.

So, what’s the answer?  How do we give it our all without doing so to the detriment of our health and thus to the detriment of our personal lives and families?  My first suggestion is to begin separating out what truly matters from what matters, matters somewhat, could matter and really doesn’t matter at all.  This isn’t easy.  But one clue is to see what men and women getting ahead are doing?  Are they wasting their time on projects for which there is little reward?  Are they team players all the time? Do they torture themselves over slights?  Or do they help as they can, realize no one is perfect, recognize that some criticism is useful and some is just gossip, and protect themselves from being pushed and pulled in all directions?

I used to marvel at a colleague who protected herself by carving out blocks of time when only certain types of requests would be allowed to distract her.  We would plan lunch a month in advance, unless she was in a relatively relaxed period.  Then she’ be quite spontaneous.  I began being more protective of my time.  Truth be told, I was never a pro at it because my work involved students and they need your time when they need it.  But even with them, I asked that they arrive at my office having thought through what they’d like to discuss so we could use our time wisely.  It was good practice. And it often left time for casual, fun discussion.  None of us should waste people’s time.  When pressed for time, I learned to let people know how much was available.  If that wasn’t enough, we’d reschedule.  The side benefit is that, in time, others learn to value your time.

These are just a couple of simple ways to protect your time.  I also learned to meditate while recovering from breast cancer.  It has served me well.  Bernie Siegel’s Morning and Evening Meditation is my constant companion.  When our children were little, it was difficult to find time to meditate, but when I did the benefits were great.  It only takes about 10 minutes and once you get used to doing it, the introductory music alone will relax you.

My dad used to say, “You can do anything if you have your health.”  He was right.  If you’re working yourself into illness, step back.  Don’t do less, just do what matters most.  Take some down time.  And don’t be hesitant to protect your time. There are ways to politely tell people that you won’t be able to respond right away or that they’ll get more from you if they can wait an hour, a day, or maybe a week.

By all means exercise.  Think about work as little as possible during that time.  Enjoy the people you love, get enough sleep, work hard at what you do well and where you’re appreciated. Donate your time to something that has nothing to do with work.  Reap some benefits and when you do well at something, before getting back on that ladder to climb the next rung, celebrate.  Life is better with celebrations!

Posted in Tutorials for Women, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Leadership Tutorial V (for women) — You Want to Get Ahead? Keep a Journal.

Posted on May 25, 2013 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

Memory fades.  Recent research indicates that the process begins much earlier than we might think.  Given this and the lying-for-the-larger-good perspective prevalent in most highly and pathologically political organizations, to protect yourself and your career advancement start keeping a record of important conversations.

The value of this approach is only realized when what you were told becomes what you thought you heard.  As I’ve discussed before, especially for women, criteria for advancement tend to shift. A particular project may be described as the “key to your future” at one point in time and “not all that important” at another.  If you only vaguely remember what was said to you when you took the project on, you lose.

Journals take time.  That’s why so many of us don’t bother.  I’m suggesting a few minutes every other night.  That’s all it takes.  Once a week is better than nothing.  If you’re not up to the task now or don’t sense the necessity for it, another option is to use a journal at those times when you notice something is amiss.  Are bosses asking for one thing but rewarding another?  Are people you respect being edged out?  Were you recently told something that doesn’t match with what you’d been told before?

If you work in a highly political organization, waiting for such warning signs may be too little too late.  Start keeping notes now.  No need to write down everything.  You’ll want the where, when, by whom and the circumstances surrounding the advice or instruction.  You may never use the record.  But it will come in handy when something you spent long hours doing is suddenly diminished in value or when a promise made to you is no longer remembered by the person who made it.

Knowing when and how to use your journal is worthy of another blog, if not a book.  If for no other reason, when performance appraisal time comes around you won’t be scrambling to remember what you’ve done well and why you took those projects on.  You’ll remember, with persuasive conviction, what was said and promises made.

Trust me.  It’s time to start keeping notes.

 

Posted in Choice Points, Politics, Tutorials for Women, Uncategorized | Leave a comment